I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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