I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
