I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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