tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize