There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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