dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
do herpes really smell.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
