I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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