So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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