A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just gift wrapped bread.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
