i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
