I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
