This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize