I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
