I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
