Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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