Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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