you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
