I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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