Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize