im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
