it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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