his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
