I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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