People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
