the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
