we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
