look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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