Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize