I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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