I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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