Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So much rum. So many feels.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
