new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
