I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
