Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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