Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
