Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize