i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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