Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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