how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
