I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
