A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
