just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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