Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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