I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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