but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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