Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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