I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize