But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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