We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
