Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
