No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
