the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
