we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
