She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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