You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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