Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
