i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I can't turn off my feet"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize