2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
