that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
