can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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