Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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