I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
bring money and cleavage
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
