If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
