Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize