You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
