you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
