I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
